Posts Tagged ‘grand slam’

An open letter to Serena Williams

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

Dear Serena Williams,

Over the years we’ve seen you triumph, fail, cry, scream, threaten, bitch, complain, and even just disappear. What’s the deal with you? It’s been nearly a decade of absentee appearances claiming injuries (a place some would say close to home), and over the past couple of years, just plain annoyance from the spectators view of your tennis game.

Going back to the rise of your tennis career, you dawned upon us, lovely braided hair (braces and all) with little beads, and more importantly; insane tennis strokes. We watched in awe as you won the Wimbledon Championships, the US Open, and the Australian. But, wait, what’s that? You won’t show up to the smaller tournaments because of the money? However; you will complain about the other tennis players that are ranked #1 without a grand slam? Oh please! What about the little people, the ones who can’t afford the lavish tennis trips to watch you do what you were created to do? Yes, what about US????

Long ago, the creator and militant tennis coach, Richard Williams, took you an oasis in the desert where you were set to compete against other world class athletes only to cry “RACISM” to the crowd. Why is that? Did somebody call you a name? Did somebody offend your lord and savior? Since that fateful day, you have yet to show your face to the crowds that pay your salary, give you reason to continue, and to drool as you play the greatest sport on earth…TENNIS!

You have shown us moments of despair, where you should have grabbed some bench and called it a day, yet you only amazed us with the drive and willpower to get that booty off the chair and dig deep in your inner workings to come back with the power of a goddess to only remind every single person that you are the greatest and win. However; you only downplay the truth, as you always do, that you are living in the innocence of a fairytale dream that you’ve done nothing wrong. YOU LIE!

The truth of the matter is, we actually despise you. Go home. Retire. Continue your career on QVC selling your overpriced jewels that are quite atrocious. With all the ranting and raving that you’ve created, it’s time to give it a rest. We’re sick of the complaining, we just want to watch you play tennis – although the thought of a 2009 US Open semi final repeat would be quite spectacular to witness – and play without limitation and zero expectations. Don’t play for the fans, play for the love of the game.

In closing, we will continue to root for you Serena, since deep down we will always love and adore you. We don’t mean this in bad faith, we’re just pointing out the obvious. So please, take your tennis racquet, tie your shoes, pull back your lovely locks of hair, put in the dangling earrings, and get out on the court and make history….we are watching it happen.

Sincerely,

Your adoring fans.

Federer down but not out.

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Ok, so Roger Federer lost today in the second round of the Rome Masters tennis event! We have gotten countless emails about how he’s already showing a poor performance on the clay tennis courts this year. Really? Already showing a poor performance? Come on tennis fans, it’s not a grand slam tennis event! You know Roger can pull out the guns (or tennis racquet if you please) when he needs to. Did anybody think that he may not be actually bringing his “A” game to the tennis match? After all, he hasn’t won every masters series tennis event – but he has won EVERY major tennis championship.

Let’s give the guy a break, yeah, I’m sure he wasn’t happy about losing to Earnest Gulbis (who?), but that’s the game of tennis, you win some and you lose some.

We’ll see how he fares at the French to defend his title.

What we learned from the Australian Open Tennis Championships

Monday, February 1st, 2010

Looking back to the last two weeks of the Aussie Open tennis championships, we have learned a couple of things….here are the random things that we picked up while watching ESPN’s daily coverage of the tennis tournament (in no particular order):

  • Brad Gilbert is probably one of the best tennis announcers around…”Give ‘em the cheese!”, “Bring the wood!”, and our favorite “Gotta play the fear-hand…”
  • Speaking of tennis announcers, Chris McKendry had no clue what she was talking about – did anybody else pick up on that?
  • Andy Roddick is starting to show signs of wear and tear on court.
  • Serena Williams doesn’t seem to have much respect for other female tennis players – She did quite a bit of trash talking during this tennis tournament.
  • Male tennis players seem to age much faster than us “normal” human beings – Is Roger Federer really only 28? He looks at least 33.
  • Melbourne, Australia looks beautiful – though we think that the tennis organization should change the court surface back to what it was a couple years ago – it was faster.
  • Some tennis players announce retirement but make “special” appearances for grand slam events – Fabrice Santoro, Justine Henin, and couple of others that we can’t think of right now – so it’s not really retirement, right?
  • Being really tall doesn’t always make you a better tennis player – Juan Martin Del Potro, Marin Cilic, Ivo Karlovic, etc.
  • In Melbourne, the locals say that if you wait 10 minutes, the weather will change (typically to a different season) – if you remember the 2009 Aussie, it’s was something like 140+ degrees on the surface of the tennis courts.
  • There was some heavy promotion of Vegemite.
  • Ball kids have to wear some funky hats during the tennis matches.
  • The wives’ hate us for staying up so late watching the tennis matches and filling up the DVR with the tennis matches that were aired at 3:30 am.
  • The time rule for between points is non-existent – some tennis players took up to 39 seconds between points.
  • The Australian tennis committee moved the beer garden to the other side of the tennis gardens to avoid unruly drunken fans.
  • If you have 15 grand slam titles, chances are, you’re probably going to win a few more.
  • Australia’s tennis security guards need to pay more attention on court.
  • Unfortunately we didn’t get to see much of the tennis doubles (mixed doubles too) on TV and we certainly did not see ANY wheelchair tennis, why not?
  • Rod Laver doesn’t live in Australia – and he’s a San Diego Chargers fan – huh?
  • Roger Federer was portrayed as a Great White Shark – we also need a bigger tennis racquet!

Well, guess we could sit here for hours writing out all the little nuances we found during the two fabulous weeks of tennis action, but we just don’t have that much time. Feel free to add some of the things that you, the fellow reader, found to be beyond the tennis action!