I knew this day would come, we all did; a Roger Federer retirement announcement. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him, nor his team to make this decision. After all, Roger Federer is the greatest tennis player to have ever stepped foot onto a tennis court. We certainly have been lucky to have witnessed his greatness and effortless game.

In a statement to Swiss press, Roger Federer Retirement:

“After a lot of thought and conversations with Mirka; the kids and I have all agreed that it would best serve me if I were to retire from professional tennis. It was not an easy choice to make, I have always been a fan of the sport and I have played against some of the sports greatest champions.” Said the 36 year old Pasta Aficionado, with tears in his eyes. He went on to say, “After a really great start to the 2018 season, I felt that I could achieve so much more. But after a loss in California [BNP Paribas Open] against Juan Martin Del Potro, and a pathetic performance on my part in Florida [Miami Open] against a non-champion, Thanasi Kokkinakis; I have fully decided to quit the game all together.” He added, “I had big plans to enter the French and perhaps even team up with my good friend Rafa for some doubles action on the red stuff. I feel like that would be the best way to go out in 2018. But, you know, I have been playing for a long time and I already have a bionic knee, so I’m just done. I can’t do this anymore. I will finish out my obligations for the remainder of 2018, but after that I will fly to my Swiss fortress and indulge in Lindt Chocolates and spending time with my family.” Interestingly, he added, “After my retirement, I may join Rafa’s team so I can show him how to move better on hard courts.”

Here’s a video of Roger Federer Retirement announcement:

Obviously this is a HUGE shock to the tennis world. I have even heard the Goats in the Swiss Alps have all fallen from their rocks in dismay. Truly a sad day for tennis, Roger Federer retires…I hoped this day never would have arrived, but it did. Roger Federer Retires. Sad times. Tennis is over.

If you haven’t figured this out by now, this is totally not true, like not at all. It’s just an April Fools joke. Roger Federer retirement isn’t happening any time soon (I hope!).

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G.O.A.T

Based in sunny Southern California, raised in Argentina & USA; lover of all things tennis, USRSA Master Racquet Technician (MRT), ATP/WTA Pro Level Stringer; reviewer of tennis strings, tennis racquets, and any interesting tennis gadgets I come across. Plays NTRP 4.5 singles and some doubles. Singled handed backhand with a wicked affection for cured meats and Asado.