An open letter to Serena Williams

Dear Serena Williams,

Over the years we’ve seen you triumph, fail, cry, scream, threaten, bitch, complain, and even just disappear. What’s the deal with you? It’s been nearly a decade of absentee appearances claiming injuries (a place some would say close to home), and over the past couple of years, just plain annoyance from the spectators view of your tennis game.

Going back to the rise of your tennis career, you dawned upon us, lovely braided hair (braces and all) with little beads, and more importantly; insane tennis strokes. We watched in awe as you won the Wimbledon Championships, the US Open, and the Australian. But, wait, what’s that? You won’t show up to the smaller tournaments because of the money? However; you will complain about the other tennis players that are ranked #1 without a grand slam? Oh please! What about the little people, the ones who can’t afford the lavish tennis trips to watch you do what you were created to do? Yes, what about US????

Long ago, the creator and militant tennis coach, Richard Williams, took you an oasis in the desert where you were set to compete against other world class athletes only to cry “RACISM” to the crowd. Why is that? Did somebody call you a name? Did somebody offend your lord and savior? Since that fateful day, you have yet to show your face to the crowds that pay your salary, give you reason to continue, and to drool as you play the greatest sport on earth…TENNIS!

You have shown us moments of despair, where you should have grabbed some bench and called it a day, yet you only amazed us with the drive and willpower to get that booty off the chair and dig deep in your inner workings to come back with the power of a goddess to only remind every single person that you are the greatest and win. However; you only downplay the truth, as you always do, that you are living in the innocence of a fairytale dream that you’ve done nothing wrong. YOU LIE!

The truth of the matter is, we actually despise you. Go home. Retire. Continue your career on QVC selling your overpriced jewels that are quite atrocious. With all the ranting and raving that you’ve created, it’s time to give it a rest. We’re sick of the complaining, we just want to watch you play tennis – although the thought of a 2009 US Open semi final repeat would be quite spectacular to witness – and play without limitation and zero expectations. Don’t play for the fans, play for the love of the game.

In closing, we will continue to root for you Serena, since deep down we will always love and adore you. We don’t mean this in bad faith, we’re just pointing out the obvious. So please, take your tennis racquet, tie your shoes, pull back your lovely locks of hair, put in the dangling earrings, and get out on the court and make history….we are watching it happen.

Sincerely,

Your adoring fans.

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